Were you having sex this weekend in the bathroom at Balthazar and left your wedding ring behind? No worries! The staff has it.
In an XXX-rated lost-and-found post that reads like an erotic novel, eccentric restaurateur Keith McNally posted his manager’s account of a recent evening at the eternally hip Soho spot, which included things like the number of covers, walk-ins and cancellations, plus a saucy aside.
“We had one alleged report of a couple having sex in one of the men’s stall downstairs,” reads the manager’s notes. “But when I asked floor manager Greg to rush down and check what’s going on, the couple were nowhere to be found so they remained a mystery.”
But the steamy tale turned into even more of a tantalizing whodunit — as it appears that the woman’s ring fell off while contorting around the tiny stall.
“Oddly enough, Greg found a small wedding ring on the floor of the bathroom stall. He put it [in] Lost & Found,” reads the post.
McNally tells us the couple has not yet returned to claim the ring.
We are choosing to believe the randy pair are married to each other, not other people.
McNally has become known for posting all sorts of controversial things on Instagram, and frequently calls out his A-list customers.
He publicly shamed real estate developer Michael Shvo after the millionaire allegedly waltzed past the hostess at Balthazar to head right to the best booth. McNally threatened to ban him and said, “This obnoxious, entitled behavior is the Height of Arrogance.” (Shvo’s wife claimed the story was more complicated, arguing that they behaved appropriately.)
He also banned Graydon Carter after the former Vanity Fair editor allegedly failed to show up for a reservation for 12 at McNally’s Morandi, calling him a “fancy F–ker” and saying that he “will never be allowed to make a reservation at one of my restaurants again. Never.”
“We will be making a donation today to the restaurant’s tip pool to cover what the staff would have made,” Carter told Page Six at the time.
Instead of backing down, months later, when asked by Town & Country what he wanted for the holidays, McNally grossly responded, “Graydon Carter’s head on a platter.”